Well, well. If it isn’t the tooth fairy.

I had another tooth removed last week. That makes four missing from the original set. Like the other three I’ve lost since 2010, this one was healthy due to brushing and flossing and three or four grand in adult orthodontics and lots of yummy first-world fluoridated water. Unfortunately, the bone-eating bacteria came out of remission over the past few months and just crumbled another tooth socket into dust. 

So, be honest with me. Do I have any teeth stuck in between my spinach? 

Har, har.

I swear to Maude that if my 72-year old, chimney-smoking, crap-eating, oral-hygiene ignorant father tells me ONE MORE TIME how much easier dentures are than real teeth, I shall stab me a river. THEY DAMN WELL BETTER BE because ‘m gonna have to wear a partial for a lot longer than you, OLD MAN.

Anyway. 

For the time being, I’m carrying around the bicuspid in my purse. This way, when some precocious little so-and-so comes trotting up to me at the playground bragging about how they lost a tooth, I can say, “So did I! Wanna see it?”

Hahaha! OF COURSE YOU DON’T.

Listen, Junior, get out of my face and go shove your tooth under your pillow because I’m hanging on to mine. Untilthe tooth fairy pays off my balance at Diversey Dental Works, the bitch can just pry it from my cold, dead hands. 

Graphical novels

Hey, everybody, guess what? My wishes for this weekend — well, the cartoonist-centered ones, anyway — all came true:

Thursday night, Dan Clowes was more than gracious about signing my Lloyd Llewellyn book —  yes, THAT Lloyd Llewellyn book — despite the fact that I didn’t buy the beautiful new monograph that he was there to promote in the first place. Now I has some awesome for my collection. Let me show you it…

This one may actually go into the fireproof safe rather than stay on my  bookshelf. I might have to kick my life insurance paperwork to the curb to make roo- oh, right, WHAT life insurance paperwork? I believe one has to have a steady income to make that sort of thing worthwhile.  

Well then. No problems here. Let’s carry on, shall we?

I started off for Hyde Park bright and early to fly standby for the Comics: Philosophy and Practice dealy on Saturday. (Much as  I would have loved to go for all three days, I only had enough me-time vouchers for the one.) Turns out that some big international meeting or other was going on in the South Loop this weekend, resulting in traffic re-routes and skies threatening to rain Molotov cocktails and feces down on every Chicagoan stepping outside. Suffice it to say there were plenty of no-shows – with the attendees, not any of the comics royalty, so I got to spend all day Saturday hanging out at the conference and worshipping my idols. Yay!